(kevin) judge me as you like

[terria kya newton]

It had been one of the longest days of Terria’s school year so far. She’d still been getting used to everything. She’d finally begun to make friends and meet people. She had what she dared think had to be a boyfriend. She completely adored Ryan Willis! And she had a best friend, Mercedes Nott, who she could spend time with! She was keeping up in courses and working on music. She was in the school’s choir and the art club. People no longer questioned her as the new girl nearly as much. She felt like she was beginning to fit in!

But it was the start of October and nothing could ever stay good long. It was time for Terria’s monthly visit to the Ministry where she’d be poked and prodded and questioned and accused. She had only been to the ministry a few times before, all for things pertaining to her condition. With her being at school, the Ministry visits would be a regular thing. And, quite frankly, that horrified her.

That morning, Terria had put on school clothes, even though it was a Saturday. She left the robes behind, but wore her plain gray pleated skirt and button up white dress-shirt. She wore her Ravenclaw tie and sweater vest. She wore her stark white knee-high socks and a pair of shiny Mary-Janes. She left her hair down and made sure to brush through it. She pulled on a simple looking black jacket and made sure to grab her umbrella. Rain had been a huge factor in the weather lately.

Terria had wandered through the castle alone, agreeing to meet her guide at the school gates. They’d met and waved in a kind of awkward silence. Terria could feel her nerves getting to her. She’d imagined if she just didn’t speak, things would be okay. Kevin Willis had held out his arm for her to take and they’d apparated into London outside a little red phone booth. They’d gotten in, still in silence, still feeling awkward, and traveled into the Ministry. Terria knew the drill. She went to the wand counter and gave them her wand for examination.

After the wand situation, Kevin and Terria were to go to Conference Room 3 in the Magical Law Enforcement Offices. There, Terria endured what seemed like an endless interrogation from two Law Enforcement personnel that had been assigned her case and one very grumpy representative from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Was that what Terria was? A creature? Was that how they saw her now? That gave her chills and she couldn’t help but wonder how her life had become so complicated. And, all through this, Kevin Willis seemed obedient and watched over the entire thing looking grown up and as though he belonged there.

Once the whole thing had finished out, Terria had been told to wait in the tea room while they went over the information on her bracelet to see if she’d murdered anyone. Yes, once more with the bracelet checking. Because no one expected her to succeed at this. People only waited. They waited until she’d mess up and kill someone so they could lock her away like the monster they thought she was. Terria’s stomach ached as she walked down the forlorn looking corridors of the Ministry. She went into the tea room before Kevin and chose an empty table in the corner. She wasn’t in the mood for tea. She wasn’t in the mood for silence anymore either. She’d made it this far with small head nods and the occasional yes or no directed at Kevin, but now was the time to speak up.

So, Terria stared Ryan’s older brother in the eyes with a hard kind of look. ”Thank you. For escorting me. I know this must be…” Terria was about to say awkward. But that would be acknowledging the reality of all this. That would be saying that her boyfriend’s older brother had just escorted her to what was, essentially, a small trial pertaining to her biggest secret ever, a secret her boyfriend didn’t know about. Terria felt like throwing up. She hated these kinds of dramatics. Why did Kevin need to be chosen? Why couldn’t they have gotten quiet Amelia Bones to escort her? But no, they wanted someone in Terria’s house, someone Terria might actually know. This was a mess.

[kevin donovan willis]

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Vampire. That's what she was. Did that make her non-human? Did it make her dangerous? Did it make her unfit for Ryan? As Kevin stood at the school gates, half excited about an audience with the Minister and half nervous about his most recent duty, his mind flooded with questions, worries, and judgments. From the fairy tales that he had been told as a youngster, from the horrifying nightmares they brought on, all Kevin could image was a seductress weaving her way into the hearts of feeble men and committing a murder most horrid. He had already been programmed to dislike her, to be wary of her actions, to want to distance humanity from her lack of life. Kevin had already been taught to fear her, to send his brother messages of worry concerning their relationship. He had already been told to judge her as if she was judging him to be her next meal. Vampire. That was Dumbledore's next big obstacle for Kevin to climb.

She was walking down towards him; meek, quiet, beautiful. He waved her towards him, watched her grip his arm in silence, and without a word he stepped through the gates and took them to London. Terria was a Ravenclaw. Someone he had seen before, but never had he really took the time to see her. The phone booth was cramped, awkward, and silent. His eyes scanned her from the top of her shinny brown hair to the ordinary mary-janes on her feet. She looked like a Hogwarts student, fitting into her uniform as any girl would. She carried herself humanly enough; walked with one foot in front of the other, glanced around to avoid running into the crowd, and looked as terrified as Kevin himself had been to just touch her. Something didn't sit right in his stomach, but he wasn't about to forget years of childhood stories. She was still unnatural, no matter how ordinary she acted. And just maybe, Kevin told himself, she was saving it all for Ryan.

His whole body shook, but he straightened his suit jacket and marched into the Ministry after her like it was already his place to be there. After her inspection, when they were waiting for her bracelet to be looked over, Terria and Kevin were instructed to seat themselves in the tea room. Kevin came up from the Department of Mysteries, his mind nearly bursting with new ideas and new inspiration for his studies. The Ministry carried a certain feel to it, like a home that Kevin had always been searching for. When he stepped into the tea room, however, the atmosphere changed drastically. It was like all of the air had been vacuumed out and all that was left over was Kevin and Terria and a slew of conversation topics they'd never touch. He stared blankly at her, like he hadn't heard her speak, and something inside of him was challenging both her and what he had once used to consider as monsters.

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[terria kya newton]

Terria shifted uncomfortably in her seat. He wasn’t saying anything. It was like he was shunning her. And the worst part about it all, was that he had every right in the world to shun her as he pleased. That was how any sane person would see the entire situation. Even Ryan, Terria was convinced, would someday shun her for being a vampire. The big, bad, forbidden word… Vampire. Terria couldn’t change what she was. She had no say in having become what she was either. And she couldn’t explain that to Kevin. She could hardly talk about her life, knowing what happened. She could hardly discuss how this entire species change had affected her. How was she to reason with his silence?

Suddenly, her brows began to knit together in a mix of frustration and subtle anger. Inside, she began to boil slightly. Yes, she was a monster, but he was supposed to be an adult. He was supposed to be reasonable. If Professor Mcgonagall could look her in the eyes each lesson and respect her, Kevin Willis should be able to do the same. So, Terria scrounged up her voice, however small and unassertive it may be, and directed all her energy at Kevin. ”Say something.” She demanded. It was childish on some level, and entirely reasonable on another. She couldn’t exactly scream in his face the things she wanted to say. What would Terria have said had she been able to speak her mind?

“Get over yourself! You’re no better than me just because you’re still human!” Or maybe… ”You have no right to judge me!” But, all that she could do was think of the fact that this was Ryan’s older brother. It made her want to cry. It made her want his acceptance, something she knew she wouldn’t ever have from him. That was the one thing that had come from this entire experience so far… Kevin walked through the waters of truth and Terria already felt like she was drowning because of it. She couldn’t help but wish beyond all wishes that Ryan would be a very good swimmer. That was asking a bit much. So, she could only wear that tight expression of frustration and await Kevin’s voice because she had no idea how to deal with any of this.

[kevin donovan willis]

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For some reason the anger had shocked Kevin. Not like he didn't deserve it, of course he did. Kevin had, up to this point, only been concerned with a trip to the ministry no questions asked. Sure his childhood nightmare was sitting across the table from him, but he hadn't really expected so much frustration to be coming out of it. He should have seen it coming as he so very immaturely sat there in silence. He should have expected her to blow her top, to even reach across the table and shake him until words fell out, because he was being unnaturally stupid right at that moment, and any woman, human or not, would be angry with him now. This wasn't Kevin's day. He straightened out his clothes for probably the millionth time that trip, a nervous habit of always wanting to look perfect, and he coughed down his prejudice, arrogant ego to look her in the eyes and speak.

And like a dog it came out harsh and short. "You and Ryan?" The intensity of the question sort of disapparated after he had spoken. He really wanted to know how she felt about him, how she felt towards him, how she felt about his living, breathing, soul, but all that had came out was something that suggested. So you fancy him eh? He figured she had to know that this was coming, that Kevin would be concerned about his brother. Dumbledore had made sure Kevin wouldn't disclose the details of this trip to anyone, not even his family blood, and so the only thing that calmed Kevin's nerves was getting proof that Terria Newton wasn't going to endanger Ryan. He looked down into the cup of tea before him, waved over the sugar and preceded to drink it. It was cold. He had let it sit for too long before he realized, but he kept on gulping it down.

The cold caffeine dripped down his throat and he set the cup down, clanging against the china. "I don't mean to pry, but he's a little naive." And there it was. Kevin's attempt at making friends, at moving past this issue that seemed to creep up all around him. But it wasn't just that. It was a burning insult. It was a hint that she wasn't innocent, that she would over take the innocence of Ryan of the whole school if she could. It was Kevin's full fledged judgement seeping out of his mind and laying itself brutally on the table in front of them, like a carcass all bloody and rotting. You could almost hear the maggots start to crawl up. Smart as he was, Kevin Willis had a lot of learning to do.

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[terria kya newton]

Terria couldn’t help it. She snorted out laughter in an extremely unattractive and honest way. Terria wasn’t usually a sarcastic girl. She didn’t have much need for it. But something about the way Kevin spoke to her made her feel cold. ”Yeah, me and Ryan.” She spoke the words in the same tone as him. It was if she was mocking him, but it was so subtle she couldn’t be reprimanded for it. Terria knew she should mind her manners. It was bad enough she was carrying around her temper. She wished her parents were there in that moment. Her mother would have known what to do. Her mother would have given her advice on how to deal with all this boy stuff and how to deal with a boyfriend’s older brother. Her mother would have reminded her that she had been human once and she still had the same heart as before, the same mind, the same morals. Her mother would have told her she wasn’t a monster. But her mother was dead and Terria was out of luck.

”Oh, naïve, is he? Well, by all means, let me take that as my cue to whisk him off into the Forbidden Forest and mercilessly slaughter him with my evil vampire ways!” Terria was playing with words in a dramatic and harsh manner. She just couldn’t believe that this was what Ryan’s older brother thought. This was what everyone would think. They were all just poor, naïve victims and she’s this dark creature waiting to hurt them all while they slept. And then she felt her frustration simmer down. ”You do know I’ve never killed anyone, right? I’m about as domestic of a vampire as you can get. After I was turned, I was kept in St. Mungo’s for a month just so I could adapt. This is really none of your business, but you should know I’m not as dangerous as these people keep acting like I am. If I was, would Dumbledore let me come to the school?” Terria kept her voice level and her logic was showing. She wanted to sound reassuring, but she just couldn’t. She still felt like she was on trial for her boyfriend’s family. She wanted to make Kevin think well of her.